6/14


So much has been happening so far this year. Finally getting medical answers for myself! I've been having lots of issues with my migraines, exhaustion, weight gain and moodiness for awhile. Went in for a sleep study and found out one of the problems. I figured I had sleep apnea (which I have a slight case of) BUT the Doctor called me (didn't know they still made personal calls) and told me he needs to get my permission to contact my insurance company ASAP since my sleep study came back with my oxygen levels while I'm sleeping down in the 70 percentile. It should be at the VERY least 92%. This explains a whole lot! I am now waiting to hear from the insurance company on if they will do an oxygen machine study for me to see if this helps (I sure hope it does!). If my oxygen stays like it has been a lot of health issues will begin happening. Thank God I have a Doctor who looked past the sleep apnea test results!!

Injections Part 2

7 injections??? NOPE!!! Try 2, yes two, FULL BOTTLES of Botox! Holy Shit! Injected not just in my neck but also throughout my scalp, shoulders, forehead and hairline. AND I get to go back for more in 5 weeks! OWWWWWWWIEEEEE

I also now have an appointment for an initial interview for sleep apnea. The neurologist is positive I have it and she is sending me to a specialist who will check me out and then make an appointment for a sleep study.

Injections

Had a hard time sleeping last night due to my anxiety. I am having injections in my neck today for the migraines and the pain caused by my Cervical Dystonia. From what I have read they will be injectioning 7 shots of Botulinum Toxin (Botox) into the muscle close to my spinal cord and brain. Im praying the Doctor hasn't had to much caffine and doesn't have the shakes! I will be giving Desi extra hugs and kisses this morning and praying like crazy until the appointment is over. It will be worth it in the end when all the pain is gone! Just wish sometimes I was still on anxiety medication or had a man to whisper in my ear that it will be ok.

Cannot get this song outta my head!!!

Fell asleep with it playing in my mind and woke up singing it haha. Adele is the BOMB!

Car Accident

Had a bit of a car accident this week. A truck in front of me had a huge load of scrap metal in the back of his pickup. His tie down broke loose and even with swerving and slamming on the brakes I still got hit and drove over a bunch. Insurance adjuster is coming tomorrow to give an estimate for my car. Sucks the thing only has 2000 miles on it! My back went into spasm and having a hard time getting it to calm down so ended up at the Doctor who said it is very typical and put me on some medications, sadly I can't drive on them so all day long Im in pain trying to work. And of course I am working 20 hours of overtime this week. I could use a good massage!

Kangarooooooo

Had a great weekend with Desi, Grandma, Brenda and the kangaroos. Grandma and Brenda had never been to the kangaroo farm which made it extra extra fun. So thankful that they rain held off for our tour and we got to hold a baby roo and see a baby in the momma's pouch!

 At the very bottom corner you can see a couple eyes peeking our of the pouch.

Brenda being begged by the donkeys

Grandma kissing llamas

 Grandma holding baby roo

 Desi snuggling baby roo

3/2

Desi and I got our pictures done. They turned out amazing! Spent way more than I planned but since it has been a long time since we had any done together I figure it was worth it. My dining room wall now has 6 8x10s of us and it looks beautiful! After we went to the spagetti factory and ate in the trolley. What a great day!

2/21

As I was drifting off to sleep I had a talk with God. I told him I was feeling alone and lonely and didn't understand why I was still single. Ive had all these chances to make a relationship and they have all failed. I got my answer in the dream... wow was it amazing!!

I was in an elevator going up, minding my own business. Every man that got on was rude, abusive, mean, pushy or scarey. Finally the elevator stops at the 70th floor and I get off. I look around and am told that I can have my pick of ANY of the homes as long as they are vacant. I spot one with a view off in the distance. It looks pretty, looks like it has a great view but as I get closer I see that the yard is nothing but rocks so I can't plant my garden and the outside of the house is pretty but the inside is burned and in horrible shape. I have a woman with a bunch of kids come up to me and beg me to let her have the house for 7 ounces of banana. I figure sure, I don't want something this ugly anyways. So I walk away with my bananas. I begin to notice that all the homes are occupied, none are really what seems to fit my personality and Im feeling let down and alone. Wanting security. I don't give up home and I keep walking and searching.

I come across a staircase. One going down with homes that are vacant but in even worse shape or a staircase with an arrow leading up. I can't see what is up there and I figure I will just take a quick peak. I head over and notice that it is roped off and I feel deflated but a little voice tells me to step forward. As I do the chain falls down. I look around and no one sees me so I sneak over the chain and I see a beautiful neighborhood. The sun is shinning. The homes are brand new and sparkling. The yards are breath-taking. I hear a voice boom "What are you doing here?" In a meek voice I say well the chain fell down and I just wanted to peak. I have bananas and I really want to find my place and not be alone again. The voice says "Your money is no good here!" I feel very sad but determined and ask "Then how do I buy where I am suppose to be?" He tells me "You already paid for it. You are a good person with a heart of gold and you deserve to be happy".

Then Desi woke me up. I see this as God telling me that the others just were not good enough for me. Sure they looked good on the outside but their insides were not what I needed or wanted and there yard would stunt the growth of any relationship. God has someone set aside just for me and when He says the timing is right he will remove the obstacle and I will see the beauty of the love that is there for me. (I also think the woman who paid me bananas for the burnt house was Aimee, hahaha)

2/14

Woke up this morning with a whole new outlook on life. Had my appointment yesterday with the Neurologist for my migraines and she was amazing! She was so in-depth on everything! Lots of explanations and tons of options! I was told that yes I have migraines but there is underlying causes. I have sleep apnea which is why I have been having so many issues with my memory and disorientation. I also have Cervical Dystonia which is the biggest cause of my migraines. She has placed me on new meds that will help with migraine prevention as well as weight loss. Took my first pill last night and over the next 3 weeks will be increasing the dosage. It knocked me on my ass last night and I had the best night sleep that Ive had in a long time! I go back in 5 weeks and at that time she may be putting injections in my neck. She has put me on a sugar free and diary free diet for 5 weeks and I told her about my new exercise bike which she was thrilled that it is a recumbent one since I need to not stress my neck at all.


So last night and this morning I put together my new bike and I love it! The exercise is easy, the bike is super quiet, my only complaint is the seat is uncomfy but Im gonna see if I can find either memory foam or a gel seat to help. The Doctor seems to think that within 2 months I will see a huge difference in my size due to this plan of action. We did talk about weight loss surgery but she said it was a bad idea since most people who have migraines and have that surgery end up in such severe pain from migraines in the future that it isn't worth it.


I feel more energy and upbeat already! I feel happier and I think it is the hope and the good nights sleep that is the cause!

2/11

I did something today that I said I would NEVER do again... I bought a Ford! As most people know I am a Chevy girl BUT the new Fiesta hatchback is cute and comes in a really unique color... Violet Gray! It is super pretty! Im glad to have a worry free vehicle of my own again. No more stupid engine lights, power braking or towing! Had some great memories with the Saab and will miss it but am very happy with my purchase. The gas mileage is great and I still have the ability to open the roof (only as a moonroof but thats ok)

2/5

Less than a week before I go and buy my new car... as long as my tax return gets here in time. Made the appointment with the salesman and told him what I want. Hopefully he has found it, gave him almost 2 weeks notice.

Brenda has been such a sweetheart. She is letting me borrow her greenhouse. I cannot believe how fast my seeds are growing! I planted early since the planter said they should be left in it 4-6 weeks before transplanting BUT my corn is already 5 inches tall and too big to be in the tiny planter. Have some real great seeds I guess haha. Looks like Im gonna have veg and fruit over load this year. Gotta love it!

On another health issue I bought a water cooler so we can have fresh cold water and ordered water service from sparklett today. Time to start getting healthier.

Just over a week before I see the migraine neurologist. I've been keeping a journal of pain, foods and things that seem to bring on the migraines. Praying that it isn't something major wrong with my brain.

Still dreaming of Jesse, but not as often. Miss talking with him. Been trying to keep myself busy and with everything on my plate right now busy is an understatement!

1/25

Guess what?!? The damn Saab is broken AGAIN! Im thinking it is having an affair with Earl, he won't confirm or deny it. Had to power brake it home from Snohomish yesterday. Today I went to Kia and drooled over the Soul. After Earl gets the car running it will be traded in. I can't keep borrowing my moms car or putting more money into a car that obviously isn't that into me lmao.

Friday I get to spend 13 hours in Camo heaven. Wonder if 13 hours is long enough to find enough men to follow me home??? lol

1/23/12

Started my journal for the neurologist. Been having more brain farts lately. Yesterday I was sitting at the computer and realised something smelled really good so I decidecd to see if I could figure out where it was coming from. After walking around I realised it was me and remembered I had put purfume on just 10 minutes prior. It's things like this that are really starting to worry me about the possibilities that the specialist is going to find when she takes a look in my head.


I woke up at 11pm last night in so much pain. My head felt like someone had cut it in half. Thankfully when I woke up in the morning it was almost completly gone. Migraines are becoming more frequent. The 13th can't come fast enough. Yes Im scared what she will find but at the same time I need to get the pain to stop.

1/16

MY CAR IS FIXED!!! Thank you so much Earl! Poor guy as soon as it started I threw myself in his arms, gave him a huge hug and started crying! I have been an emotional basket case lately. If I didn't know that Jesse was neutered I would be concerned! Buty since he is I will chalk all the body weirdness and hormones up to stress. (Hmmm me have stress??? ROFLMAO)

I need to figure out some sort of gift to give Earl for his 2 days of working in the icy snow on my car to get it fixed. I have no idea what to get him. 

They are predicting a huge winter storm in the next few days. Thankfully my work doesn't believe we should risk anything to get to our appointments so if it is bad I will be staying home. (Note to self: get fire wood).

Brenda was such a sweetheart yesterday, her and her hubby went out to breakfast (invited me but I declined) and when she got home she had a fountain drink from 7-11 for me. AWWWWW Thanks Brenda! 

Didn't sleep well last night, kept hearing weird noises outside but there is no evidence of anyone out there. HEY Burgler if your cold there is a tent in my backyard storage (the stakes are on the porch) AND a sleeping bag! Just leave me alone! lol

1/12

Well I've had a very painful week. I had a migraine for 6 days. Ended up going to the Doc on day 5 and they gave me a shot and some heavy duty medication. Still had 1 more full blown day of migraines after that. I am still hurting but not nearly as bad today. I was even able to work! The Doctor referred me to a neurologist. With my migraines becoming worse over the years they want to make sure that there is nothing wrong with my brain. So I have an appointment on Feb 13th and see where I go from there. I have to admit I am scared.

Earl I think is putting the fuel pump in my car this weekend. I have really missed my saab. But he has been a trooper about helping me out. He has even come over and tarped the car since I couldn't seem to keep the tarp on even with bungie cords.

1/9

The part has been ordered for the Saab. It needs a new fuel pump *sigh*. The part should be in this after noon and I think Earl is going to work on the car this weekend. I sure miss my car and am so very thankful for everything he is doing for me. On Saturday we sat down and I poured the whole Jesse situation at his feet and told him I am so f-ed up over it and have so much baggage that I can't move on right now. He was totally understanding. Told me that Jesse is a moron and has no idea what he is missing. That if he was lucky enough to have someone like me he would hold on with dear life and not let me slip away. He has been boosting my ego back up with constant compliments and one liners to make me laugh. I know that if Jesse showed up on my doorstep right now I would still take him back, I know I deserve to be treated better than what he is treating me right now, but I know that once he steps back into himself and believes in himself that he is an amazing man who can do anything he puts his mind to, but Aimee has killed the individuality and manhood out of him.

1/7

Keith is Home!!! Keith was located with his girlfriend Rachelle last night. I bet he is thankful for a nice warm bed to sleep in! I do feel sorry for him since his Mom only seemed to care that he came home in time for HIM to watch the children next week when Jesse returned to work... PATHETIC! Sad to see that it was due to the work of Rachelle's family and NCIS that they were found. If only Keith's family had taken the initiative and put up MISSING fliers this might have been over with last week, but the missing flies "upset Aimee"... The world does revolve around HER you know. grrrrrrrrr, some people! Hope Keith doesn't go thru too much hell now that he is home! Poor kid, way to much stress is placed on the head of the 15 year old.

Off my soap box! Had to run to walmart at 5am cuz my nose ring decided that it was so small it slipped all the way thru my piercing. So now I have a regular stud in there (Thank you Brenda for putting it in!!!) Have my 1st of 3 of my christmas massages this morning. Wooohoooo! After that Earl will be over to play with my car some more (Thank you Earl, your a sweetheart!)

1/5

Keith is still missing, his birthday is only 5 days away. I can't imagine how his parents are handling this. I may not care for Aimee but I wouldn't wish this sort of stress on anyone! I've tried to be as supportive as possible without anyone knowing who I really am, so Jesse won't get in "trouble". I truly believe that helping is the right thing to do. This is not a Jesse and Me thing, this is all about Keith!

Sad to say but Im actually beginning to like the attention I am getting from one guy imparticular. I am still not prepared to move any relationship to the next level with anyone but he sure knows how to sweet talk me. Still wish Jesse would just pull his head outta his ass and show up on my doorstep.

Got my nose pierced yesterday. Something I have wanted to do for a very long time. Got a very little stud put in and I love it! Hurt like hell cuz I had it done at a tattoo place where they use a needle and not a gun. Still tender today but not too bad.