Friday, December 30, 2011
12/30
In 2011 I have loved and lost, grown and reduced, moved and remained fixed, hurt and healed, became stronger and found my weakness, gave a helping hand and prayed for guidance, was blessed and cursed, grieved and was comforted. I pray that 2012 bring blessings for all!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
12/29
Earl came out to work on the Saab today. Sadly the hopeful part wasn't the magic one to fix it. Feels like Im replacing the Saab one piece at a time. So now on the lookout for a good deal on a fuel pump. *sigh*. At least he is willing to do more research and has offered to replace it once we find the part.
I'm very worried right now. A little birdy told me that Jesse's oldest son is missing. He is 15. I don't know any details except that he went missing on Dec 27th. I don't know if he ran away or what. He went missing from Bremerton. His name is Keith Bolstad. He is approx 6 foot tall, blonde, hair blue eyes, ears pierced, very skinny. I hope he is ok and pray that his family hears from him soon.
I'm very worried right now. A little birdy told me that Jesse's oldest son is missing. He is 15. I don't know any details except that he went missing on Dec 27th. I don't know if he ran away or what. He went missing from Bremerton. His name is Keith Bolstad. He is approx 6 foot tall, blonde, hair blue eyes, ears pierced, very skinny. I hope he is ok and pray that his family hears from him soon.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
12/28/11
Holy Crap people! Stop trying to set me up on blind dates, I am not ready!!! And to the one guy, DUDE BEING PUSHY DOESN'T IMPRESS ME!!!
I have been straight forward with everyone, right now I am too fucked up over the whole Jesse thing to even consider dating anyone. It would not be fair to anyone I dated and it would probebly do even more damage to me. Give me time to mend and then set me up on blind dates. When a beloved family pet dies you don't run out and buy a new one you grieve and morn first... same with lost love.
Dude who shall remain nameless on here. You don't know me. Offering to cuddle, spoon, and have a sleepover at my house is not appropriate. We have talked for one week and you ask what color my underthings are. You want to jump in my pants. This does not impress me, I AM THE DOMINATE IN A RELATIONSHIP back the fuck off! Yes I am a VERY sexually charged person but NOT for you! I have yet to meet a man who can keep up with me.
On the plus side, as I was showering today I started praying for all the things that I am thankful for lately. Yes Im going through a hard time without the man I THOUGHT loved me and was going to be my forever but I can still be thankful for all the wonderful gifts that God has given me. I have my awesome duplex, huge yard, Desi, a great job, Amazing women I work with, Brenda, Melisa, I fought the apartment charge and won, I have moms car right now, I have the part to (hopefully) fix my Saab (once I figure out where it goes), I am desired by men (even if I don't want him), Riker, financially getting on my feet, Desi didnt win the bet to have me commited by the time she turned 18 (lol) and I know how to love someone even if I can't agree with his choice and it left me broken.
I have been straight forward with everyone, right now I am too fucked up over the whole Jesse thing to even consider dating anyone. It would not be fair to anyone I dated and it would probebly do even more damage to me. Give me time to mend and then set me up on blind dates. When a beloved family pet dies you don't run out and buy a new one you grieve and morn first... same with lost love.
Dude who shall remain nameless on here. You don't know me. Offering to cuddle, spoon, and have a sleepover at my house is not appropriate. We have talked for one week and you ask what color my underthings are. You want to jump in my pants. This does not impress me, I AM THE DOMINATE IN A RELATIONSHIP back the fuck off! Yes I am a VERY sexually charged person but NOT for you! I have yet to meet a man who can keep up with me.
On the plus side, as I was showering today I started praying for all the things that I am thankful for lately. Yes Im going through a hard time without the man I THOUGHT loved me and was going to be my forever but I can still be thankful for all the wonderful gifts that God has given me. I have my awesome duplex, huge yard, Desi, a great job, Amazing women I work with, Brenda, Melisa, I fought the apartment charge and won, I have moms car right now, I have the part to (hopefully) fix my Saab (once I figure out where it goes), I am desired by men (even if I don't want him), Riker, financially getting on my feet, Desi didnt win the bet to have me commited by the time she turned 18 (lol) and I know how to love someone even if I can't agree with his choice and it left me broken.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Merry Christmas
Ok, call me the crazy cat lady but Riker made my morning not so depressing. Desi is still at her Dads house so its just me and the cat. I woke up to him snuggling and took his gifts and placed them next to the tree while I went into the bathroom. After a couple minutes he began tearing into the wrapping paper all excited! I came out and he was running from the bathroom to the tree and back meowing "Hurry Mom! Lets open presents!" So as I assisted him in his gift opening he was purring like mad and meowing and rubbing on me then the presents then me again. He was hilarious!
Had Christmas Eve with my sister last night and she spoiled the heck outta me. Couple bottles of wine, gift certificate for 3 hour long massages, smoked salmon, dvd cleaner/repair kit, and a season of Star Trek Voyager. Mom gave me a couple gifts and said I would have more today but she went over board this year as well! Jeans, body pillow and a blu-ray player! I'm very greatful for all the gifts and greatful for the reason for this season.
On another note, I talked with my new friend Earl and he told me which part to order from O'reilly's for the Saab and he will be coming to put it on the car. We have our fingers crossed that this will do the trick (fuel relay) if not he has said he will replace the fuel pump but the part is over $400 and he will have to remove the gas tank to get to it. I asked how much for labor and he just said "Ah we will see", I have a feeling that he is going to say nothing for the labor unless it is the fuel pump and then it will be minimal.
Had Christmas Eve with my sister last night and she spoiled the heck outta me. Couple bottles of wine, gift certificate for 3 hour long massages, smoked salmon, dvd cleaner/repair kit, and a season of Star Trek Voyager. Mom gave me a couple gifts and said I would have more today but she went over board this year as well! Jeans, body pillow and a blu-ray player! I'm very greatful for all the gifts and greatful for the reason for this season.
On another note, I talked with my new friend Earl and he told me which part to order from O'reilly's for the Saab and he will be coming to put it on the car. We have our fingers crossed that this will do the trick (fuel relay) if not he has said he will replace the fuel pump but the part is over $400 and he will have to remove the gas tank to get to it. I asked how much for labor and he just said "Ah we will see", I have a feeling that he is going to say nothing for the labor unless it is the fuel pump and then it will be minimal.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
12/24/11
Really doesn't feel like Christmas! Is it that Desi isn't home? Unseasonably warm? New place? I don't know. But I do know that I am so thankful for the birth of Jesus. It reminds me of a story... I was watching some discovery channel program and they took a sample of Jesus's blood and did a DNA test on it. It came back as a female Mother and an unknown for the Father... How totally amazing is that!?! Also the fact that they have found evidence of the arc encased in ice and snow. Our God is a mighty God! He has our lives all planned out for us and even knows the number of hairs on our head. I'm trying to focus on my path and enjoy the journey. My heart wants answers and results but I need to just place my faith in God that he has the perfect timing for everything.
Been doing some meditation with Deepak Chopra. It seems to help when I feel overwhelmed. It is hard to be a person who can sense other peoples emotions and at times not know if they are my own or if I can just ackowledge it and say "Here is your emotion back and if you don't like your situation then you have the power to change it, shit or get off the pot!" The gift can sometimes be a curse but I still wouldn't give it up.
Been doing some meditation with Deepak Chopra. It seems to help when I feel overwhelmed. It is hard to be a person who can sense other peoples emotions and at times not know if they are my own or if I can just ackowledge it and say "Here is your emotion back and if you don't like your situation then you have the power to change it, shit or get off the pot!" The gift can sometimes be a curse but I still wouldn't give it up.
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